Loss

My dear uncle passed away yesterday evening. My heart hurts. This has been a year for heartache. This death is the 6th I've endured in a little less than a year, plus one crucial friendship moved to long distance.

My heart feels tenderized, like meat that has to be softened before it is good for eating. I never thought about how that would feel to the meat, but it is definitely not fun for the heart. Just when I think the blows are over and the muscle can begin to heal, wham, another blow. It stinks.

This is also my last year of homeschooling. So there are a great many happy-sad moments in store for me this year. And a lot more emptying of my life to come. I've been playing this gig for 15, going on 16, years. A whole way of life to say good-bye to. A whole piece of my identity. A good thing, but hard.

I'm sure this tenderizing serves the good purpose God has planned for me, but it is hard when what He chooses bruises.

Yet, the strength of the LORD is found at the end of my rope (a line from "O' Lord" by Lauren Daigle).





I'm grateful that, though what He chooses often bruises, He is right there to minister to me.

He is my comfort. He never leaves me or forsakes me. He empties my life to fill me up with Himself. He is everything. Anything else in my life is gravy or icing, depending on one's choice of the moment. He is my portion and my cup. He is enough.

So..."I will stand my ground where hope can be found..."