Gleanings from Renee:
"You've been trying to earn your value in everything you've done. But you will never find the love you long for in anyone or anything but Me. I AM the unconditional love you are looking for." p.51
"Until our hearts find complete security and significance in God's unconditional love, we will never be satisfied....Those of us who struggle with insecurity and find ourselves in the 'shadow of doubt' often get there because we are seeking our validation in people's opinions, our worth in accomplishments, and our identity in excessive commitments." p.52
"You see, God put a longing for unfailing love in our hearts because He knew it would lead us back to Him. Only God's unfailing love will fill and fulfill the desires of our hearts. It is the deepest thirst of our souls. Until God's love is enough, nothing else will be." p.55
"By recognizing and replacing our emptiness with the fullness of God's promises, we drink the gift of living water." p.60
"Jesus came to give us more than salvation, He wants us to experience complete satisfaction in Him....Salvation is a one-time decision, but finding satisfaction in Christ and living in the security of His promises is a daily process." p.61
"We were made for love that isn't measured by our last accomplishment but marked by God's measureless grace." p.62
It is SO easy for me to measure who I am or how much I am worth by how much I accomplish at home or by how much I pour myself into serving at church. In my crazy humanity, I do things because I love Jesus while at the same time longing for a pat on the back. I want Him to get full recognition, but my flesh wants recognition as well. It is a continual battle between trying to do things for an audience of One and laying down my deep-seated need for approval.
Why is anyone's approval but His even necessary to me? This is the question I'm praying through and seeking an answer for. I am praying for the knowledge that He is ENOUGH to descend from my head to my heart.
My prayer is to be so full of Jesus' love and love for Jesus that service just occurs and my flesh is crucified. I want my actions to be guided only by what pleases Him. And I want them to be motivated by love for Him, not by trying to 'earn' His favor. I'm afraid this battle won't be over for good til I go home, but conquering the need to find my worth outside of Christ is certainly my goal.
Like C.S. Lewis says, "Don't shine so others can see you. Shine so that through you, others can see Him."