John 12:37 Amplified

"Even though He had done so many miracles before them (right before their eyes), yet they still did not trust in Him and failed to believe in Him."

This verse primarily refers to those who have not come to the Lord Jesus and believed Who He is and thus have not been saved.  However, I felt convicted, even as a believer.  Just yesterday I was blogging about this very thing.  Not trusting.  Not really believing.  Succumbing to anxiety due to lack of true and steady faith.  The double-minded man syndrome is a disease from which I have not yet been fully healed.

I have seen Him work many miracles in my life:  my salvation, my rescue from sin, healing from a back injury, major changes in my character, plus His daily sustaining power.  And yet, I still freak out first and come back to faith and peace through a process.  Even though He is the King of Glory, the LORD God Almighty, Creator and Sustainer of all matter, and even though He controls everything, and even though His actions toward me are always grounded in His extravagant love for me, I still waver and wobble.  Argggghhhhh!  He's worth so much more than I am able to be for Him!!!

Knowing I'm an unworthy worm in more than just this way, I can only rest in Him and His saving work in my life.  I am SO glad He loves me and doesn't require perfection.  He is my perfection.  If I could be perfect, I wouldn't need a Savior.  But I can't. 

AND HE LOVES ME!!!  

Yipppeeee!!!

So...

I'm praying to do and be better.

I'm praying He will work change miraculously in me,

just as He always has,

and, I'm trying to rest in Him and in His love for me.

I love these quotes I found on my friends' pages and I am going to borrow them for myself because they encourage and help me to live in His grace, which He extends freely to worms like me.

"I am not what I ought to be.

 I am not what I wish to be. 

 I am not even what I hope to be. 

But by God's grace and Christ's love, 

I am not what I was." 

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"Finish each day and be done with it. 

You have done what you could. 

Some blunders and absurdities 

no doubt crept in; 

forget them as soon as you can. 

Tomorrow is a new day; 

begin it well and serenely 

and with too high a spirit 

to be encumbered 

with your old nonsense." 

Ralph Waldo Emerson